Watch what you say and do? because it's all about you.
by Eric Petersen,posted Apr 5 2013 12:24PM
I read an awesome article on line about the purpose of relationships, and how important it is to understand that you do not need someone to complete you, but to share in your completion… and how we all have luggage and simply need someone to help carry and unpack it with us instead of being ashamed of it.
I drifted off (for more time than I care to confess to) thinking about my greatest relationship mistakes in my life, how they changed my view of the world and ultimately changed the course I took to get to where I am now. I also thought of a newly made friend that is married to a man that may be the biggest mistake I’ve ever seen a woman make, and yet she stays. I have always subscribed to the adage that states “there ain’t no point in moving on till you’ve got somewhere to go” and it’s always worked for me with one bold and awful exception: interpersonal relationships.
People frequently complain about how much it stinks to be alone, but it’s substantially worse to be with the wrong person than it is to be alone! Being in a situation that drains you of your strength of self is the equivalent of voluntarily staying in pain or poverty or in direct danger, when a clear road to health, riches or safety is easily available. In other words it’s foolish to try to “make it work” if doing so requires a substantial amount of conscious effort.
Yep, I’ve done it, and maybe you’ve done it, but that doesn’t make it right, it just makes it a commonality that we share; one we should have learned from, and one that needs not be repeated again.
What others say and do is often based entirely on their own self-reflection… they may believe that they are internally very ugly and don’t deserve being treated well. Remember that when you are insulted by someone you love, because ultimately they don’t deserve your love; if they treat you like crap they don’t deserve good things at all, and you should no longer reward their abuse with the gift of your acceptance.
Look at your life right now, and people in it, the very ones you spend the bulk of your time and emotional effort, and perhaps money on, and ask if they are worth those gifts! If the answer is anything but absolute YES, leave that relationship immediately! I know it seems an extremely quick and rash decision, but settling should never be an option, and the time God has given you is moving forward and you should be too. Don’t get me wrong I’m not suggesting that you start searching for the perfect person, but instead look for the person who brings out the best in you. Surround yourself with people who make you a better person, and let go of those who don’t.
I am very happy these days, mainly because of the awesome woman I’ve got in my life, but also because of the lessons I have learned from making a lot of mistakes. If I could tell you the biggest lesson I’ve earned it’s this: people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.