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Selena

 
Posts from June 2013


Let's do lunch, Oprah
I've noticed while pregnant, I've had some wild, vibrant dreams.  They seem so realistic. 

Yesterday I dreamt that Oprah Winfrey invited me to her house for lunch.  Sure.  Why not. In my bizarre dream I'm closer to her than Gail. 

I made it all the way to her front door, when Oprah came rushing out to meet me on her porch, slamming the door behind her.  "The house is a mess," she said.  "I didn't have time to clean, so we'll have to go out." (What the hell, maids?!)

She offered to drive - which was nice - in her green Neon (what?! No Rolls?! Was I not good enough?)

So here I am, rollin with Oprah in a NEON ... to eat lunch from Panda Express on a mall bench.  That was her choice, not mine.

I woke up kinda pissed at Oprah for being a lousy host ... plus I was hungry.  That Chinese food didn't stick with me at all...

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Why kids don't belong in an office...
Why we don't take our kids to work, Reason # 20:



Cole found candles in my drawer that I didn't even know I had.  He took a bite out of the strawberry candle.  Then the "Sex on the Beach" scented one.  Hmm.  Wonder what that tasted like...
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Are you a kid of the 80's?


If you instantly knew this was a still from the Saturday cartoon hit "Muppet Babies", then you very likely are a child of the 80's (or a mom of a 30-something year old!)  I can't believe how many people fell in love with this show.  It always creeped me out!!  You never saw the nanny's face, only her retched striped socks that she NEVER changed.  And those poor lil muppets never went outside -- except for one episode (probably b/c viewing mom's complained!).  No wonder they were forced to use their imagination!!

Click on the pic above to enter the world of the 80's as you remembered it -- what's your favorite?  Mine were the Scratch n Sniff Stickers - I think I had them all in my cherished sticker book, except the Plumb one!

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Are you a kid of the 80's?


If you instantly knew this was a still from the Saturday cartoon hit "Muppet Babies", then you very likely are a child of the 80's (or a mom of a 30-something year old!)  I can't believe how many people fell in love with this show.  It always creeped me out!!  You never saw the nanny's face, only her retched striped socks that she NEVER changed.  And those poor lil muppets never went outside -- except for one episode (probably b/c viewing mom's complained!).  No wonder they were forced to use their imagination!!

Click on the pic above to enter the world of the 80's as you remembered it -- what's your favorite?  Mine were the Scratch n Sniff Stickers - I think I had them all in my cherished sticker book, except the Plumb one!
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What did you feed my kid?!!

Do you trust the grandparents?

My parents took care of our 16 month old son while my husband & I were on vacation.  They hate to cook (as do I!!), so I stocked the fridge with plenty of healthy pre-made meals and fresh food.  I came home to find NOTHING touched!  I asked them what they fed him, they said, "oh, he just loves Chinese takeout and Subway tuna hoagies...".    !!!!!!   Awesome. 

They pumped my toddler full of MSG and sodium for a week.   

Thanks for all the crazy grandparent stories on The Wake Up Call w/ Eric&Selena!   We couldn't believe one mom finding her kids being handed knives by grandma to play in the backyard!!!  To Grandma's credit, there were FOUR kids ... that's just too many.  Way to teach survival of the fittest, Grandma!

The best calls were from the grandma's themselves defending their honor:  One was proud of giving the grandkids chocolate milk and DORITOS for BREAKFAST.  "Hey, there's corn in that....they're covered" !!!!!

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