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Selena

 
Posts from March 2013


Does anyone know what Matzah is?!

Went to the grocery store and asked if they sold Matzah. Both workers behind the customer service desk looked at me like I had two heads. Should have known - it's the same store I asked for Lox, and they sent me to the hardware aisle...

Happy Passover!!

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Technology Ate My Homework!

Well, I DID write a beautiful blog about my sis returning home, but our system glitched and I lost EVERYTHING.  Hell, I may have even discovered the answer to achieving world peace in that blog, but you'll never know, now, will ya.


I hate when Technology breaks.  I have no control.  At least when I throw my computer and it breaks, I know it was my fault. 

Don't call the Comp Cops on me.  I didn't do it.....YET.

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I'm not crazy - I'm just singin' to my son!

Parents, we find ourselves willing to make a fool of ourselves to entertain our kids.


I love it when my son laughs.  It's my favorite sound in the world.  Definitely better than the alternative - crying.

Cole was getting a lil fussy while grocery shopping, and the parental instinct just kicked in .... SING!!!! 
He loves it when I sing, even if you hate it during The Wake Up Call's Really Wrong Sing Along on Friday!

So, here I am, in the middle of Price Chopper, singing my heart out to calm his crying. 

I must have lost myself in the moment ... I bumped into a guy behind me who was patiently waiting for me to move from the pasta aisle.  Apparently, I don't just sing.  I sing AND dance.  In the grocery store. Hey, I'm willing to swallow my pride for a happy kid!

 

Turns out, my husband does the same thing!  And he's looking for more songs to add to his repertoire - do you have any good kid songs to add?  Here's what Ethan just wrote on FB:

I’d like to apologize to Target for my singing voice, and the pony it rode in on.

My son’s a little over 13 months old. You might think that in 13 months, I would have learned several songs for babies and kids. But you would be wrong. I have a whopping, two kid songs in my repertoire- not counting the ridiculous songs about poop that I make up on the spot. One is the ABC song. The other is the song my son’s battery-powered singing pony regales us with, every time Cole hits the button in the pony’s left ear. I know the song by heart now, because Cole hits that button a lot. Sometimes I hear the song in my sleep and awake screaming in the night.

I recently found myself at Target with a cranky Cole who would only stop crying when I sang to him. The ABC song wasn’t cutting it for the little music critic, so I launched right into the pony song: “I’m a pretty pony… clippety-clop, clippety-clop… such a pretty pony… clippety-clop, clippety-clop…”

Now, I haven’t sung the words, “I’m a pretty pony” out loud since prison, so I was a little rusty. But that’s all I have in my song catalog. So while my son got quiet, Target shoppers got a free shit-show. Target, I’m sorry you had to hear a fat guy with a beard sing about something other than Christmas or fish sticks.

 
Any song suggestions, anyone? I need songs to sing to my kid that (1) won’t make me come off as any creepier than I probably already do, and (2) don’t announce to everyone else in the store that I see myself as a small, attractive horse.
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Do you work out with your dog?
How many of you are guilty of getting a dog, thinking walking him will help you get back in shape?  Famous last words as you open the back door to let Fido out while you plop back on the couch?!!  Maybe this will motivate you .... or isthis just ridiculous? Me, I thorougly enjoyed watching this while eating a pizza with my cat on my lap....
 
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