So my previous blog got T's mom all fired up! I mean she was MAD! I really didn't think I wrote anything that insulting. I mean, it does take FOREVER to get there, and I must admit, I have to make a few corrections. First, I did not get any allergies this time when I went to go visit the house, so my apologies there. Next, the bar situation. So everyone loads up and gets into the car. We travel down a long twisting road, after about 5 minutes we arrive. It was nice, but me and buddies wanted to get the grand tour.
So Tara's friend said, "there is another bar right down the road." "Great lets go," we say....no lie, we drove for 20-25 minutes before arriving! Right down the road?! So, we go to this, "right down the road" bar, and I have to admit, while small, it was pretty cool, a lot of retro beer advertising, so that won me over.
This lead to the last destination. A bar that we were promised to be happening. Boy oh bo, was this the understatment of the year! The floor was NEVER restored, it was warped, cracked and destroyed, so warped that the bar did not match up, it looked like you were in some kind of fun house. Second, the heat was a coal stove! No lie, I thought it was a decoration, UNTIL THE BARTENDER HAD TO PUT COAL IN IT! The bar stools were, medal and attached to the bar by a bent pole! I felt like I jumped in a Delorean and went back to the Civil War Bar... not to mention there were only two people in the bar, real happening...
So three bars, and one we skipped. So four bars, my bad I was off by three. Now, getting back on track, Tara's mom being mad at me. I knew I was in trouble when I walked into the door, and she wasn't home, but Tara's dad was. I was welcomed to him saying, "Your in deep sh*t!" Then she came home. Now let me lay down the event prior to this. Literally three hours before we arrived Tara exclaimed, "Oh my god, do you see what my mom wrote about your blog?!"
This is what was written, "We are so excited y'all are coming up for the weekend. It's been so long since we've done anything but skin animals and make moonshine in our basement. We are honored that the "city folk" are blessing us with their presence. Maybe you can t...each us about civilization and the art of respecting someone's home...especially your future in-laws.
P.S. I have a box of bendryl with your name on it. (Don't worry! I'll keep the livestock out of your bedroom)"
So, now I'm in the house when she comes home, and usually I'm welcomed with a hug and how are you. This time, she throws her coat on the couch and starts to yell at me about the blog. After some quick explanation, she clams down, and turns the tables on me! Her and Pappa T start harassing me in a thick country slang, saying things like, "Hey ma... go fetch me a possum from that there trap", and "Gee wiz, I would have made somethin other than meat loaf, but I couldn't catch me no squirrel before you twos got here."
And they didn't let up! They did this until we left! So, now I have to worry about the next time I go down, not only that, but what is she going to think of this blog. And for that matter, who knew she read these anyway?!