My mother was the type of women that most men dreamed of meeting.
That realization came to me when I found myself taking care of her in the final years of her life and I began seeing the strength, determination, and resolve that she had in herself… not mention the mountains of pictures that had been amassed throughout the years (like this one) of her mowing grass, or shoveling snow, helping my father move furniture or carrying shingles for the major home remodel they did in the seventies. Women of those days simply didn’t do “men’s work”, but she did, and didn’t think twice about it.
Growing up I was only totally sure of a few things: Grandmas cooking was the best on earth, The Fonz was the coolest guy on earth, and that my mom loved my father and I totally, completely, and without question more than anyone else on earth.
She wasn’t like the women I was meeting; in fact she stood out against MOST of the women that I would be in the company of not only then but for all of my life, no matter the age or demographic category.
As time went on I found it amazingly difficult to find a girl that I could have a lasting relationship with. I dated a lot of girls from a variety of different backgrounds and places, usually only to find that something wasn’t quite right. I always asked myself why it was that I wasn’t able to find happiness… the answer came when I began to realize that (sadly) we men all subliminally look for the same qualities that our first love, our mom, instilled in our minds were quintessentially important, and my mom had set the bar very high!
My mother was strong and beautiful, stubborn and humble, patient and loving, as well as loyal and respectful. Her skills as a mother are the very things that shaped me into the person I am today. She passed away on a Sunday morning three years ago this coming Thursday and I only hope that she knew how much I appreciated the sacrifice and passion she put forth to raise me in this life.
This Mother’s Day take a moment to tell your mom how much she means to you… if you are able to do so, I suggest that you say it to her every day. It may seem a little uncomfortable at first (especially if it’s been a while since you told her that) but someday you will feel better as a result of your actions, trust me.
There is a picture in our bathroom of Erika holding Piper as an infant and the inscription reads: “Mom, when you thought I wasn’t listening I heard every word, and when you thoughy I wasn’t looking I saw every move… you have made me who I am. Thank you”