Want to GUARANTEE that your pumpkin is NERDIER than any other pumpkin on the block? I've got you covered.
--I found a website that gives you full instructions on how to carve your pumpkin to look like the DEATH STAR from "Star Wars". It's complicated . . . but no one said being a RAGING NERD was easy, right?
--Just go to fantasypumpkins.com, or search for "Carving the Death Star."
Every year, state fairs across America try to find new ways to DEEP FRY FOOD. But NONE of them can touch the brilliant frying minds at the Texas State Fair. It draws the cream of the frying crop.
--The Texas State Fair opens on September 30th. And this year, the deep-fried offering that's got everyone talking is . . . DEEP-FRIED BUBBLEGUM.
--Now . . . they don't actually batter a stick of Big Red and drop it in the deep fryer. Apparently that doesn't work. The fried bubblegum is a deep-fried marshmallow that's flavored with pink bubblegum extract, then covered in frosting and Chicklets.
--Here are some of the other food creations that will be making their debut at the Texas State Fair . . .
--Deep-fried sauerkraut and pork sausage ball.
--A taco served in a bag of nacho cheese-flavored Doritos.
--A buffalo chicken strip coated with pancake batter and deep-fried.
I used to work for a guy who would use a cliché for everything... and I mean everything!!! His very special favorite was: "jump the shark"... UGH!!!
Ok, to be fair I use a bunch of clichés in my everyday speech too, but being a master of the King's English I think I know when to stop. But some people use way too many clichés, and after the two hundred thousandth time of hearing any one cliché it starts to lose its sting.
Here are some clichés that are overused and should probably be banned:
1. Money doesn't grow on trees.
2. To throw someone under a bus.
4. Been there, done that.
5. That's how I roll.
6. I know, right?
7. More bang for your buck
8. Outside of the box
9. You go, girl!
10. It is what it is.
Seriously... What should be added to this list? Which of these do you hate the most? The least?
I'm curious what ones you hear all the time that bug you!
We've all been there: You're at a grocery store or a drug store, you want to get the discounts from the shopper's loyalty club, but you don't have a membership, you don't want to fill out an application, and you don't want to give them your number.
--Here's a GREAT way to beat the system.
--Just tell the cashier you forgot your card. They'll ask for your phone number. And just match up any area code along with, arguably, the most famous phone number in history . . . 867-5309.
--Which you probably recognized as JENNY'S phone number from the 1982 TOMMY TUTONE one-hit wonder "867-5309/Jenny".
--The reason it works is that SOMEONE at some point before you has filled out the application for a membership card, but didn't want to give their real phone number. So they filled in 867-5309.
-Try it today (or over the weekend) and let me know how you made out!!! See ya Monday!
There are some awesome superhero powers that most guys wished they had, like: I wish I had the ability to fly, or superhuman strength or invisibility.
But, in the history of comic books, there have also been some completely worthless superhero powers, such as:
â¢ Taking the Form of Water (Wonder Twin Zan) -- When push comes to shove, the ability to turn into a puddle of water isn't all that amazing.
â¢ Yelling Really Loudly (The Thunderer) -- Yelling really loudly is more annoying than menacing.
â¢ Body of Plastic (Plastic Man/Mister Fantastic) -- Sure, plasticity can help you slip under a door frame or possibly take a punch, but there's hardly any type of destruction potential from the ability to become rubber.
â¢ Talking to Fish (Aquaman) -- Seriously. How often in your life would it have been useful to call a shark to help you?
-If you could have just one superhero power, what would it be and why?
-What's the closest thing you have to a superpower? How much better at this are you than the mere mortals around you? (You are using this power for good and not evil, right?)
Here's an awkward scenario ... your friend broke up with his girlfriend, and you spent the evening having drinks and telling him exactly what you didn't like about her. But, wait, now they're back together!
Ever done this?... well my friend, if you have, you're in good company!
I have also spoken my mind, too much, too soon, and on more than just one occassion!!!!
You (like I was) are a victim of a "fakeup" -- a fake breakup ... or a breakup that doesn't take.
Just Asking ... Have you ever told a friend what you thought of his or her ex -- only to have them get back together? What did you say? Did it affect the friendship? Have you ever gone through a "fakeup"?
This is straight out of the "Why didn't anyone think of this before?" file. We Americans find a way to deep fry EVERYTHING. And now, one of our signature drinks can be added to that list.
--DEEP FRIED KOOL-AID is hitting the county fair circuit this summer . . . and it's a monster hit.
--"Chicken" Charlie Boghosian is a fried food innovator who sells his fried foods at county fairs around the country. He created deep-fried Kool-Aid this year . . . and it's quickly becoming his biggest item.
--The deep-fried Kool-Aid balls involve flour, water, and cherry Kool-Aid. Charlie mixes up a batter, rolls them into balls, then deep fries them. They come out tasting like sweet donut holes.
--There's no word on the nutritional information on one of these.
--Charlie is at the San Diego County Fair right now and is selling at least 1,200 balls a day . . . which is double the amount of new items he usually sells.
--He's also debuted things like deep-fried Klondike bars, Pop Tarts, and frog legs in the past few years.
Have you ever heard the expression "Age is just a number"? It's really just something you say more and more as you get older. The truth is, age is just a number and it doesn't necessarily represent how old you are. To know for sure if you're getting old, just look for the following eight signs.
8. You routinely throw out your back.
7. You start doing your own taxes.
6. You prefer to stay in on a Saturday night.
5. You start watching the nightly news.
4. You go to sleep before midnight every night.
3. You keep plants in your house.
2. There is more food than alcohol in your fridge.
1. You have gray hair ... of course.
Has anything happened recently that freaked you out because it was a sign you are getting old?
Did you see a gray nose hair? Are your ankles clicking?
Did you tell your kids to turn the music down?
Join us Monday morning after 7am and confess your "aging pains"...
Have a great weekend and Happy Fathers Day!!!
With the new Teen Wolf series up and running on MTV, Bradley Cooper's not-so-bare chest in The Hangover 2, and Ryan Reynolds' cover shoot for Entertainment Weekly, it looks like chest hair might be making a comeback.
The super smooth guys with the super smooth chests had been hogging the spotlight in the post-Magnum, P.I. days -- but the young, hot stars of today aren't afraid to show a little stubble south of their chin.
So now I'm asking ... What do you think of hairy chests? Does your guy manscape? Does he do it for you or in spite of you? Guys: Have you ever had the experience of being manscaped? Did you like it, or hate it?
Join us tomorrow morning as we tackle the very sensitive subect of shaved chests!!!
The current NFL lockout is not sitting well with football fans, and many say they will lose interest completely if the season is cancelled or even delayed.
I still hold out hope that everything will be resolved by the start of the season, but even if it dosen't start on time, I will still love and support the greatest game on earth and my beloved Philadelphia Eagles!!!
However:A new poll found that one-in-four NFL fans say they will not attend games or even watch at home if the lockout has any type of negative impact on the season.
Sachs/Mason-Dixon, which conducted the poll, suggests that the NFL could lose hundreds of millions of dollars if the season is shortened or delayed.
Seriously ... Are you an NFL fan who would REALLY stay away from the games?
What would it take for you actually follow through with your threat to stay away?
Does the season have to start late? Do games have to be lost?
There are so many personal chores that we have to do even though we dread them.
One of these is laundry. Whether you do it every day, once or twice a week, or not nearly as much as you should, it's a real pain.
I have been using my neighbor's washer and dryer for the last two weeks since mine "gave up the ghost"... it's starting to get awkward! So awkward in fact that I have been wearing the same stuff two and three times to lessen the load (so to speak)!
So how often do you do laundry?
Do you have your own washer and dryer, or do you have to go a Laundromat or apartment-building laundry room?
Do you avoid doing laundry often by wearing certain things more than once?
What articles of clothing can you wear multiple times before washing? Is there anything you do to pass the time while doing laundry, like reading a book?
What's the worst part of doing laundry?
So I'm out with a friend of mine the other night who is approached by an incredibly good looking woman. She was super hot, and he turned her down!!!
I don't think this woman had ever been turned down before... ever. My friend told her he was taking a break from dating (which he is), and I called him nuts! The funny thing is that she kept on persuing him all night long!
I suppose that some women (like her) can't imagine that they aren't gonig to get an immediate success with a guy. She wanted him more and more as he continued turning down her advances over and over each time.
Ladies, is a guy sexier if he's not interested in you? Have you ever had this happen? Did you try harder because you just "had to make him like you"?
As always I have a problem! Over the weekend I discovered that my clothes dryer is in the "winter of its life".
I have known for some time that it was slowing down but it finally has reached the fork in the appliance road.
Here's the problem: I am pretty sure it will be easy to fix, but should I go that way?
1st) If I call an appliance repairman he'll require a $75.00 estimate fee (applied towards the price if I choose to have him make the repair)
or 2nd) should I go to the Paper Shop and find one a year old for about $100.00
or 3rd) do I shoot the moon and truck down to Best Buy and get a brand new washer and dryer for $500.00 and never look back?!
Leave me your opinion and join us tomorrow morning after 7am for the Wednesday morning appliance talk!
It's nice to host a barbecue for your friends and family, but sometimes it's even nicer to be a guest at someone else's barbecue. This way you just show up and spend all day throwing down pounds of meat and mayonnaise-based salads.
Sure enough, I have been invited to a doozie!!!
But I don't want to be a freeloader, so what should I bring? A dessert? Some booze?
Maybe it's a good idea to ask the hosts what they need.
But... what if the host tells me that I don't need to bring anything, what do I wind up bringing?
Join us Tuesday morning after 8am and help out the lost & rude party guest, with no contributions to the festivities (Eric)!!!! See ya'll then!
Some women make a big deal out of their underwear. They spend a ton of money on it and won't go outside the house unless they're wearing premium panties.
Guys, on the other hand, are notorious for not caring at all about their underwear. But, do guys care about their wife or girlfriend's underwear?
Is it a big deal? A big turn-on? Or... Does it really not matter at all?
Are both panties and bras equally important?
At what point are a woman's panties or bras a turn-OFF? Could they get so ratty and torn that they need to go? Have you ever told your wife or girlfriend to say goodbye to a pair of panties?
Does your wife or girlfriend spend a LOT of money on her panties and bras? How much money are we talking about? Does this bother you?
Has your wife or girlfriend gotten relaxed about her panties and bras through the years? Do you remember when they were sexy and cool? In what kind of shape are they now? Does this bother you?
Join us tomorrow morning after 8am and I'll discuss the reasons why women spend so much more on thier drawers!!!! See ya then!
Esquire magazine recently released a list of things all men should be able to do.
Some of the notable entries included: â¢ Get a Busy Bartender's Attention
â¢ Give a Good Massage
â¢ Chop Down a Tree
â¢ Make Eggs Four Ways
â¢ Look Good in a Picture
â¢ Calm a Crying Baby
â¢ Parallel Park
â¢ Make Pancakes from Scratch
â¢ Stop a Running Toilet
â¢ Carve a Turkey
â¢ Pick Ripe Produce
â¢ Jump-Start a Car
â¢ Get a Table in a Restaurant
â¢ Console a Crying Woman
Seriously?!!!! I consider myself a pretty capable guy and I can only pull off nine of these (you figure out which ones).
Are there any "manly" skills that you admit to not being able to do?
What manly skill are you an ace at? How did you get so good? Who taught you?
See ya in the morning!!!
While women are very good at wasting money, they haven't cornered the market.
Guys, too, make plenty of boneheaded money decisions.
Here's a rundown of some of the dumbest decisions men make with their money:
â¢ Not Joining the Supermarket Loyalty Program -- Yes. Having a supermarket loyalty card on your key chain makes you look like a tool. But, not joining the club costs you money each and every time you go to the store.
â¢ Buying Tons of DVDs and Videogames -- Is it really necessary to have the latest version of Call of Duty before your neighbor's 12-year-old-son? Buy the great stuff. Rent the other stuff.
â¢ Spending a Fortune on a Car -- Cars cost money, but they also cost tons of time and attention if you're not careful. Just be reasonable.
I gotta ask: Is it more important for you to build your bank account or to enjoy the moment and have fun, no matter what it costs?
What do you spend way too much money on? Why is this? What would it take for you to cut back?
Join us Monday morning after 6am and I'll admit what I blow my bucks on!!!
While most school kids are excited about summer vacation, counting down the days until school lets out, many educators are worried.
Kids in America are falling behind kids in other countries -- and fast.
According to a recent study, American 15-year-olds now rank 14th in reading, 17th in science and 25th in math -- and only eight of the 34 countries that took part in the study have a lower high school graduation rate than we do.
So, why do American kids still have the summer off?
Some parents will say, "Let our kids be kids." But what does that mean today? Watching TV? Playing video games? Getting into trouble?
We live in a rapidly changing, competitive world. It might be time to reconsider everything in our efforts to keep up -- even summer vacation.
-Am I right? Do you think kids should go to school year-round? Is this because you want them to have an improved education? Or ... Do you just not want them running around the house all summer?
Join us tomorrow morning after 7am and chime in about weather twelve months of school is a good, or bad, idea. See ya then!!!
Over this past weekend I watched the movie "Grown Ups". I must admit I laughed out loud at several scenes in it, as I saw myself in the character played by Adam Sandler.He is a Hollywood agent and deals with the stresses of the entertainment business.
I am not an agent like him in the movie, but I am in the entertainment business and sometiimes have the same trials to my patience... like lip kissers!
Look; I like meeting people, all kinds of people... but unless we're dating you'd be better to kiss my cheek not my lips.
My lips (any section of them) are the "holy grail" of my facial affection. Anyone blessed enough to kiss me on the lips is truly in a category all their own.
I do not kiss my family members (mom included) on the lips. I do not kiss my friends (P.S. girls only get kisses) on the lips. I do not, no matter what kiss strangers of any kind, on, near or around the lips!!!
So with that said, here's a word of warning: Please unless we're already dating, thinking about dating, have been previously romatically linked, or I give you the permission to touchdown on my Chapstick prepped kissing strips... kiss me on the lips!!!
If you choose to ignore this warning: expect me to do a head fake end-around and dismiss you to the flesh pillows (aka cheeks) next to my ears!
Join us tomorrow morning after 8am and tell me if you think my lip kissing fear is correct!
Most guys will never admit to finding another guy attractive. In fact, many will say they can't even decipher which guys are good-looking and which aren't. But just as women crush on famous men, so do we.
It may not be the same type of crush, but most guys have a famous guy they look up to and wouldn't mind trading places with.
So who is your man-crush? Here's a list of 11 guys that guys crush on.
1. Ryan Reynolds
2. Tom Brady
3. Seth Rogen
4. Mark Wahlberg
5. Director Christopher Nolan
6. Robert Downey Jr.
7. John Stewart
8. Hugh Jackman
9. Barack Obama
10. George Clooney
11. Bruce Wayne (Batman)
Excuse me but where is James Bond? (My man crush!)
â¢ If you could trade places with any other guy, who would it be and why?
â¢ Are there any male celebrities that your wife or girlfriend would dump you for in a heartbeat? Are you comfortable with this? Or ... Do you think this celebrity is a tool?
Join us Tuesday morning at 6:15, and tell about your "Man-Crush"!
There are a couple of surveys floating around that asked moms to name the WORST Mother's Day gifts they'd ever received. So if you're planning on giving mom any of these on Sunday, you'd better get ready to hit the mall tomorrow.
--Here are some of the things that were named as the worst gifts:
--A used frying pan.
--A PAULY SHORE video.
--A used breast pump.
--A bag of frozen cheese tortellini.
--A denture-cleaning kit.
--A mustache trimmer.
--The good news? Overall, 51% of mothers say they've never received a bad gift. And 14% say they haven't received a bad gift, but they have received NO GIFT, and that was pretty bad.
As I sat there on the first day of my vacation, unable to sleep, I watched the "Royal Wedding" slowly begin. I would honestly have been watching something else, but at 4:30am there is only infomercials and news on the telly... and the wedding of a prince is "the news" when it happens.
A statement of fact first: When a man watches a wedding he is totally detached. It's not like watching sports, or car shows, there is no scoring no competition, no battle for supremacy, it just gracefully unfolds.
So there I was, bored to tears, waiting for something, and I mean anything, to happen to change the momentum... and there she was!
I sat up in bed; I moved closer to the TV; I would've let out a victorious scream if it hadn't been 5am... Pippa had arrived!
Ok, to be fair Kate had arrived, and her sister was helping with the train of her dress, but I had finally found my reason to continue watching the "wedding of the year": because of the georgeous Maid Of Honor/ sister of the bride, and I wasn't moving!
Go ahead, make fun of me, say what you will, call your friends and tell them I've sold out for a Brit-Chick, I don't care... she's hot!
So now I gotta ask: Do you feel the same way? Did Pippa steal the show? If you were Kate would you be mad at all the attention your sister was getting?
Tomorrow morning join me, I mean us, as we talk about all things Pippa!
We are all creatures of habit -- (Boy, I am!) Whether you have a favorite chair that you always sit in, a particular side of the bed you always sleep on or a spot at the dining room table you always eat at, you are in some way a creature of habit.
You don't even really think about it until someone else sits in your favorite chair or eats at your spot at the table.
What is that thing for you? Do you take the same exact route to work every day? Do you eat lunch at the same time everyday? What is it that makes you a creature of habit?
Join us tomorrow morning at 8:15 and confess how much of a creature of habit you are!!! See ya then!
A Man Busts Into an Elementary School, and They Evacuate . . . But it Turns Out He Just Needed to Use the Bathroom
Look, I understand that bathroom emergencies are no joke. When you gotta go, you don't care which toilet gets the honor. But still . . . this was probably a bad idea.
--On Thursday, an adult man BARGED into Stony Creek Elementary School in Littleton, Colorado. (--Littleton is the city right next to where the Columbine High School massacre happened in 1999.)
--The school panicked, and EVACUATED all of the students and staff.
--Thankfully, the man wasn't there to cause trouble. No . . . when the police confronted him, he told them he just really needed to use the bathroom, and the school was his closest option.
--He won't be charged with any crime.
I've been there (when you feel like you're gonna die, or explode) when the bathroom is the promised land!
Join us tomorrow morning after 8am and explain your worst bathroom emergency stories!!! See ya'll then!
There's a private school in Shanghai where golf has been made a mandatory course for the school's first and second graders.
"Learning golf is not only about cultivating certain skills, it is also all about raising the standards of living and making people happier as it is both a physical exercise and an entertainment," according to the school's principal.
"We hope that golf can be an effective way of improving the abilities of students and have a positive effect on their future development, as they have to communicate in English and learn to respect others when playing the sport," he said.
I always wanted to learn auto maintainence skills, and never did, beacuse I wasn't forced to (like in a school setting)!
So now tell me: Are there any sports, hobbies or other skills you wish your parents had hooked you up with earlier in life? Why?
Join us tomorrow morning and tell us on the Wake Up Call!!! See ya then!
For decades now, we've walked through department stores knowing that if we head through the fragrance area, it's a GAUNTLET of over-aggressive salespeople trying to spray you with perfume.
--Well . . . it appears that the department stores have finally figured out that people HATE THAT. And HATRED doesn't sell perfume.
--Everyone from Nordstrom to Lord & Taylor to Bloomingdale's is cutting back on the perfume sprayers. They're cutting the staff, asking them just to spray those little pieces of paper instead of people, and generally making the whole area more laid back.
--Pamela Vaile is a high-profile perfume marketer, and she summed up why the department stores have finally moved in this direction. Quote, "Accosting a consumer with your product doesn't convey luxury."
Is there something at the Mall (or any store) that you hate so much you avoid going there? What is it? How do you combat it if you must shop there? Tell us tomorrow morning on the Wake Up Call!!! See ya then!
Great news fellas... according to a new survey from Match.com, men think they need to spend a lot of money on a date to impress a woman, but women say it's not important.
The survey found that men are three times more likely than women to think there are expectations on how much they need to spend on a date.
But, a majority of women (58 percent) don't even want an expensive date. They'd rather their date keep it casual by meeting up for coffee. To top it off, 46 percent of women would be fine if their date used a coupon to pay for the date.
Now be honest, Ladies: If a guy takes you out on a date, what are your minimum expectations? Any dollar amount? Any certain things you need to see him doing?
Guys: Did you have a date over recently that was incredibly bad? What happened? When did you realize you were in for a wild ride?
Join us tomorrow morning @ 6:30 and lets talk about your dating stories! See ya then!!!
When it comes to love, career, money and family, most of us can use all the help we can get.That may explain why so many people turn to a usually free and relatively easy form of help -- their horoscope.
These little nuggets of wisdom are always just a mouse click or magazine flip away and often provide people with the extra solace they need when they feel they have nowhere else to turn.
Longer than a fortune cookie and cheaper than a psychic, horoscopes are read ... and trusted ... by millions!
I have to ask: Do you read your horoscope regularly? Do you believe in astrological powers? What's the spookiest thing that has ever come true from your horoscope? Do you refuse to trust this kind of stuff?
Join us tomorrow morning on the Wake Up Call @ 8:15 and defend or deny!!! See ya then!
Two guys in Massachusetts pleaded not guilty after police said they started a fight during a child's birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese.32-year-old Donald Jean Estime and 36-year-old Ezekiel L. Tavares were both arrested and charged with assault and battery and disturbing the peace.
According to a police report, the pair were at Estime's son's birthday party and appeared to have been drinking.
Estime got into an argument about a kid who was playing air hockey.
During the argument, Estime shoved a Chuck E. Cheese employee -- and Tavares jumped in and joined the fight.
In court, the Judge expressed surprise about the assault.
"Isn't Chuck E. Cheese a fight-free zone?'' he asked.
I have to ask you: Have you ever seen a fight break out between parents and a childrens function? How did you react?
Do you have any friends that you've stopped inviting to places because they can't behave properly?
Join us Monday morning after 8am and tell us about it! See ya then!
Things we do and say today are becoming outdated very, very quickly.
Here are a few phrases we take for granted that will probably not be around very much longer:
"Just buy the new CD" -- Because more and more CDs and CD players are being eliminated each day, buying a CD is being replaced with "buy it on iTunes" or "download it."
"What's your mailing address?" -- Is anyone writing notes, licking stamps and putting envelopes in the mail anymore? Ever?
"Swipe your card" -- We're still a few years away from this, but this phrase is going to be replaced with "swipe your Phone." From your ID to credit cards, the mere swiping of your programmed phone will be all you need to buy anything.
"Call 911" -- It's going to be replaced with "text 911," which will honestly sound extremely strange.
"Page me" or "Fax it" -- A few industries still love their pagers and faxes, but the end is near.
I gotta ask: Do you have any family members who are especially out-of-date? What old gadgets or ways of doing things are they clinging to? Why? Is there any chance of you breaking them of these habits and bringing them into the 21st century?
Are there any old gadgets that you still enjoy using? Is it because the old gadgets are still efficient for you? Or, do you have a weird, romantic attachment to the past?
Everyone knows that smoking is bad for you. Even smokers know this, but they do it anyway.
We all know that wearing our seatbelts is both important and the law, but many of us still drive unbuckled.
Many people pop zits even though it can leave a scar. We do so many things that we shouldn't do, despite knowing that they're bad for us.
Tell me something that you do despite knowing that it's bad for you. Why do you still do it? Do you forget... or do you just not care?
Join us tomorrow morning on The Wake Up Call and confess!!! See ya then!
This week, the NFL players and owners are scheduled to square off in court over this crazy lockout.
While it's almost impossible for football fans to imagine Sundays without football, it's important to remember -- the players are suing the owners. There's a lot of bad blood here. It could happen.
If it does happen, here are some potential things we can do on Sundays instead of watch football:
Lingerie Football -- Unfortunately, the women playing are slower and weaker than NFL stars. Fortunately, though, they're hot and wearing nothing but underwear.
Scabs -- Sure, it would be crappy football but at least there'd still be a league. Something to keep in mind ... There are plenty of people who never came back to watching Major League Baseball after they shut it down in 1994.
NFL Players Playing Other Sports -- These are very talented, very exciting guys. Why not let them compete against each other in other sports. It could be something as ridiculous as a reality show -- or as serious as a full-contact gladiator face-off.
What are we going to do??!!!
Do you have any big time weekly rituals? Is there something you do each and every week -- and never miss? How long has this been a part of your life? How dedicated are you to NEVER missing?