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Posts from August 2013

If you're visiting us this Labor Day Weekend...

The rules of rural Pennsylvania are as follows:


1. Let's get this straight: it's called a 'dirt road.' No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.


2. They are cattle. They're live steaks or walking milk bottles. That's why they smell funny to you, get over it. Don't like it? I-80 goes east and west, I-81 goes north and south. Pick one.


3. Pull your droopy pants up, you look like an idiot.


4. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.

5. So you have a $60,000 car, we're impressed. We have $150,000 corn pickers and hay balers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

6. Every person in rural Pennsylvania waves. We think of it as being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

7. If that cell phone rings while an 8-point buck and three does are coming in, we will shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

8. Yeah, we eat scrapple, pot pie, funnel cakes, haluskie, pierogies, shoo-fly pie, apple butter, chow-chow, and schnitz un knepp. Don't like the sound of them or the names freak you out because you never saw a "Bon Appetit" article on them? Great, more for us!


9. The 'opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held on the Monday after Thanksgiving.

10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.


11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the chef's salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey

12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats (includes fish), vegetables, and breads. We use four spices: salt, pepper, hot sauce, and Heinz ketchup. Oh, yeah...we don't care what you folks in Jersey call that stuff you eat. It’s not real chili.


13. You bring 'coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice.


14. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, and have long hair.


15. College and high school football are as important here as the Steelers and Eagles and a lot more fun to watch.


16. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards---it spooks the fish.

17. Colleges? We have them all over. We have state universities, community colleges, and vo-techs. They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and Country. They still wave at everybody when they come home for the holidays.


18. We have a whole ton of folks who have been in the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines and Coast Guard - PA has one of the highest percentages of veterans in the entire country. So don't mess with us. If you do, you will get whipped by the best.

19. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump-thump stuff is not music anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers. Refer back to # 3.


20. Four inches isn't a blizzard--it's a flurry. Drive like you got some sense, and don't take all our bread, milk, and toilet paper from the grocery stores. You’re not in Alaska. Worst case you may have to live a whole day without your croissants. The pickups with snow plows will have you out the next day.

A true Pennsylvanian will send this on to others. Everyone else can leave town.
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Topics : Hospitality_Recreation
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Locations : AlaskaPennsylvania
People : Mary Jane




 

School is back in session. Just remember to be kind to your teachers!

Back during my senior year of high school (2004), I was wrestling at 140 lbs.  Of course, I started at 155 lbs, and my coach asked if I could lose the 15 lbs. in a week, for our first meet, and then keep it off for the three months of the season.  I did, but at a painful price.  
 
 
From the extreme weight loss I put my body through, my bladder and kidney had sealed shut.  I was dehydrating my body to make weight, so replenishing my body with water was not an option, and in result my kidney had swelled and was rubbing up against my hip.  I urinated blood for three months, which if you have never done, is extremely painful, and I would rather just hold it in then go, because of the pain.     


 
The doctors told me I would have to have surgery, where they would cut a hole in my bladder and kidney and reconnect them with a small tube.  I chose to opt out of surgery until after the season, so they prescribe me Vicodin, to help with the pain.  

 
 
I took one pill, and realized I hated the way Vicodin made me feel, so I decided to throw out the bottle, and just deal with it.  To ease the pain, I would just keep ice taped to my side, to "numb" the pain.  Every morning I would wake up at 5 am, run 2-5 miles, go home shower, tape ice to my hip, down five or six ibuprofen then head to school.  After school it was three hours of practice, head home, depending on what energy I had left, I may go for a run,  go to sleep, and repeat.  Fridays and Saturdays were wrestling meets and Sunday was lift days.  
 
Of course all my teachers had an opinion on what I was doing, all of them being negative.  As if my body wasn't in enough pain, I had terrible cotton mouth, my lips were cracked and dry from not drinking water, and I was just mentally and physically exhausted.  The last thing I needed to hear every period, everyday for three months, was how terrible I looked.  

 
 
I read the morning announcements for the high school before classes started, which were broadcasted in every classroom over the televisions, so I needed to be in school an hour earlier than everyone else.  One morning, as I was limping down the hall to head into the Television room, my biology teacher was walking towards me.  

 
 
Mrs. Gwenn was her name and she was retiring after my senior year.  She was a short, brittle woman, with short blonde hair, and big wired frame glasses, who I never really had many exchanges with, besides me sitting in class, and struggling to understand the lesson (I was awful in biology). 

 
 
As I'm getting ready to walk past her, she stopped me.  I guess I wasn't looking too great that morning, because when she stopped me, she let out a long sigh, and a large sad faced frown.  The face that your grandmother would make when you would trip, fall and scrap your leg.  

 
 
I thought I was in for another lecture on how I should quit losing weight, and quit wrestling all together.  Instead, she gave me a hug, and told me she was proud of me, and what I sacrificing for the school.  

 
 
I was caught off guard, and I started to tear up.  I was doing my best not to lose it right there in the hallway.  She then told me, she had a bag of lollipops in her desk, and that if I never needed one (they help when you have cotton mouth and can't produce spit) just ask. I said thank you and went on with my day.  

 
 
I will never forget that small exchange we had that day, and how great it made me feel.  I'm not sure if Mrs. Gwenn knew the impact she had on me that day, but it has never left me.  With school starting back up, I hope the teenager/young adults aren't too hard on teachers and remember that they have tough days like the rest of us.  
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People : Gwenn




 

People ACTUALLY want my cooking?!!

I want to thank my buddy, John Fargione, in Scranton, for creating the illusion that I cook/bake, ie, turn on the stove-oven thingy....

He claims he misses my brownies.  No. That is not a euphemism. 

John's comment of Facebook:


I am at work and I'm hungry, I don't know why but it popped into my head how much I enjoyed your brownies. Have you made any lately? LOL
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  • Selena Janko can you believe it - I've moved on to ACTUALLY cooking. I'm a changed woman. Ethan is the baker now; made blueberry muffins and chocolate banana bread from scratch this past week. He encroached upon my territory, John. I had to surrender.
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I don't need clubs... just the cart!




Golf is not one of those things I have the pleasure of playing enough. Oh sure I play but not nearly to the amount that I would like or to the frequency that might actually help me see a noted improvement in my score. Sadly, despite having many different golf courses that are local to me, I have just not had the time this summer to play with any regularity.

But that hasn’t prevented me from enjoying one of the best parts of taking to the links: the joys of driving the Golf Cart! You see I just don’t fancy lugging all those gold clubs around in that heavy looking bag, and can’t afford to hire my own caddy, so I opt for the cart. Now we are giving away the mother of all golf carts (thanks to Tri-State Golf Carts). This beauty is “Froggy101 Yellow”, with pimped out graphics, a roll bar, chrome wheels and a sweet electric drive train… so it’s basically silent in its operation!

I might well be encouraged to join a local golf club if could I be allowed to drive around the course in one of these bad boys… but sadly I can’t and I don’t get to keep this one, but you can own it for yourself! Join us today (Sunday 8-25) in the parking lot of the Toyota Pavilion on Montage Mountain and look for me tooling around the lot prior to the Jason Aldean show and find out how!

We gotta unload this beauty before the end of the month, so… good luck!
I’ll be the jealous guy watching you leave the lot with it!
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Bugs that bug you most...

I’m reading this new study that states: mosquitoes love beer drinkers.

Is this really true because if so then my fiancé Erika is sneaking a bunch of beers down behind my back!
Researchers say just a single 12-ounce bottle of beer can make you more attractive to the bugs.

Scientists also say a bunch of other factors – such blood type, metabolism, the amount of exercise you do, and the amount of carbon dioxide you emit – all have something to do with how much mosquitoes target you.

Furthermore the research said: They tend to attack people with larger frames and bigger bodies – which are also, sometimes, guys with serious beer bellies!

This was very perplexing since Erika doesn’t drink beer (she barely drinks at all), she is a size 3 and I can’t imagine that she emits a measurable amount of carbon dioxide! So why then is that on summer evenings she gets bitten like crazy and I sit there untouched?!

My house is home to swarms of wasps (which I am highly allergic to) and she is completely unbothered when she visits.  Why?!!

Question: What insect or animal causes you he most trouble?! Monday morning at 7:15 we’ll be looking for your stories of pestilence! Talk to you then!
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Guys, think you can handle labor?

Remember to show this to your kids on mother's day...I'm in between laughing and crying ... it's bringing back bad memories of my first labor. And here they say "you forget"...nope. too soon!! I might use this video as a punishment factor for my kids when they tick me off too!!
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I finally cooked. Sorry you slept through it.

A female listener struck a cord with me the other day as we were pouncing on a husband that insisted his working wife's job should ALSO be to cook. 

She said that she also has a full-time job and kids, but she does the cooking exclusively to express her appreciation to her family.  In other words, she doesn't look at it as a job that she's hoping to pawn off occasionally on her husband; she ENJOYS going the extra mile for her family.

That made me want to cook.

And I went full-out.  No pearls and apron Ala June Cleaver, but I prepared a Greek rub from scratch and massaged that raw chicken between its skin and meat as if I was working for tips. 

And I HATE touching raw chicken. 

But I love my family... that was my mantra, anyway, during the rubdown.  Even made mashed potatoes without a recipe - a scary thought for someone that doesn't cook, but I was determined to show full family love. 

Three hours later (because a cleaning freak skeeves out handling raw chicken and needs time to over-Lysol everything), dinner was served.  Everything looked so good, angels should have been singing as I opened the oven door.  I couldn't wait to perform my "wifey duties" and serve my husband and son.


We sat down, and I intently watched Ethan take a bite.  Nothin. 

I turned to my son, who will usually put anything in his mouth, and saw a fistful of potatoes smeared on his face.  He found a new toy. 

I looked at my husband again, who is still silent, but eating.  I couldn't take it anymore ....."Well?!!! Say something!!!!"

"If I'm not talking, it's because I'm eating.  Take it as a good sign."  Hmm.  Wise words.  Success.

Then I look at my son, and see this:


Almost looks like he's pretending to sleep to avoid eating anymore. This is not helping mommy's cooking reputation.  Maybe I took too long to serve dinner (damn you, Lysol).

I thought the dinner was delicious, if I may say so.  I was even surprised.  We'll see how soon my next "family appreciation" cook-fest happens.  In the meantime, I hope the family appreciates left-overs...


 

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Me + Bus trip (could) = A Long Day!

Riding on a bus is something that I haven’t done, for any reason, for as long as I can remember. I rode the bus to school, on some family trips as a young man, and occasionally to New York (like 3 times total) but I cant tell you the last time that I boarded a bus for a trip that wasn’t work related and rode to any destination, and I really don’t remember any of those trips as being an “especially good memory”, if you catch my drift.

Busses are smelly and loud, cramped and usually dated looking, not to mention the passengers who use bus travel most are frightening at best, and at worst down right repellant.

Tomorrow (Friday) Erika and I will be taking the Big Apple Daily Special into the City That Never Sleeps and I will get the chance to experience  all that 2 ½ hour a bus trip can be once more. Here’s the cool part: come Monday you get the pleasure of hearing about my trip and the sordid details of my squeamish attitude while rolling to and from NYC!

Wish me luck (and patience) and join us Monday morning at 6:15 on the Wake Up Call to share your Bus Trip Tales with us! Talk to ya then!
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Locations : New York




 

Me + Bus trip (could) = A Long Day!

Riding on a bus is something that I haven’t done, for any reason, for as long as I can remember. I rode the bus to school, on some family trips as a young man, and occasionally to New York (like 3 times total) but I cant tell you the last time that I boarded a bus for a trip that wasn’t work related and rode to any destination, and I really don’t remember any of those trips as being an “especially good memory”, if you catch my drift.

Busses are smelly and loud, cramped and usually dated looking, not to mention the passengers who use bus travel most are frightening at best, and at worst down right repellant.

Tomorrow (Friday) Erika and I will be taking the Big Apple Daily Special into the City That Never Sleeps and I will get the chance to experience  all that 2 ½ hour a bus trip can be once more. Here’s the cool part: come Monday you get the pleasure of hearing about my trip and the sordid details of my squeamish attitude while rolling to and from NYC!

Wish me luck (and patience) and join us Monday morning at 6:15 on the Wake Up Call to share your Bus Trip Tales with us! Talk to ya then!
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Topics : Hospitality_Recreation
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Locations : New York




 

My collection addiction!

I have recently started to collect the LJN's, and it all started back in 1991-1992.  Here is a brief story on how I got involved into collecting them.  I got into pro wrestling when I was in Kindergarten.  My oldest brother (who did not live with us) left a PWI wrestling magazine at our house, I can clearly remember the magazine too.  It was the Wrestlemania 6 recap. When I found this magazine, I assumed, "well if my brother likes wrestling, it must be cool.  I guess I LOVE wrestling now."  Going through the pages (not reading of course) looking at the pictures, I decided my favorite wrestlers was Hulk Hogan.  From there, I was hooked.  I watched wrestling any chance I could.  I was a Hulkamaniac, and started buying Hasbro's any time my mom would take us out. 


It was around 1993, when I re discovered this PWI magazine, and somehow, missed the ad in the back of the magazine for the LJN figures.  After examining the ad carefully, I discovered there was a referee figure, and for some reason thought it was the greatest thing.  I ran downstairs and asked my mom if we could get the referee figure.  My mother must have been in a great mood that day, because she said, "sure, how about we pick out five?"  Thrilled, my mom and I sat down and filled out the ad, selecting five figures, the referee my first choice.  


I remember my mom showing me how to fill out a check, address the envelope, and how to put the stamp on the envelope, while explaining how the post office worked, and how this whole transaction was going to work.  I listened and tried to  register everything, mostly because I knew my mom was treating me for no reason.  A few days go by, everyday asking if the figures arrived, when one sad day, my mom had to tell me the company was no longer shipping figures, and that the magazine ad was old.  I was devastated.  I may have only been in second grade, but I knew the figures in the stores were different, than the ones in PWI, I assumed they were no longer being made, and therefore I would never see that referee again.  


Fast forward to current day, my buddies and I go to the flea market, where I come across a guy selling LJN's.  I know you're thinking, "He finally got the ref!"  No, but I did pick up half his lot for a fair price.  When my buddies and I got back to the car, I took the figures out of the bag and stared at them.  It was right there, I was taken back to the story I just told, and said to myself, "I'm going to get all those figures, and that damn referee, so I can make that disappointed, 2nd grader in me finally happy."  And thus my journey has begun.  

I'm proud to say, that today, I have renegotiated my contract at work, and have accepted a new three year deal, bigger pay, and a extension on my bonus.  Excited that my dreams are becoming a reality, I decided I would celebrate, not with a drink, but by buying the blue shirt referee today.  I went on ebay, found only one listing for the blue shirted referee, a buy it now deal for $35, free shipping with the figure in fantastic shape.  I eagerly hit buy it now, and paid.  

I'm very excited to finally hold this figure in my possession after 21 years of waiting!
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People : Hulk Hogan




 


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