So today we are talking about the things that are a major turn off when you go to the opposite sex house. You know, dirty socks or underwear on the floor, dirty dishes, nasty toilets, whatever it is, we all have our shares of stories, but I feel mine may be the worst!
I have dated some doosies in my life time, but growing up in West Virginia you tend to get quite few of em, but there was one in particular that stands out in my mind. I was in 11th grade, and a friend of mine introduced her to me, and for the life of me I cannot remember her name, but that is beside the point. I thought she was cute, and I minus well take her on a date. So we hang out, exchange numbers, you know all that pre date jazz crap.
We eventually make plans to hang out her place (which I later found out to be a GIANT mistake). So she gives me directions, because you see, back in high school I was not what one would call popular in my school, so I usually dated girls from other schools, where I had no reputation. Well this girl lived TWO counties over, and just to get to her county was a 45 minute drive.
It didn’t matter to me, I was desperate and willing to make the drive, plus when I was in High School gas was around $1.20 a gallon, so I was willing to make the drive. So she gives me directions and I realize that this is going to be a hike, but I’m up for the challenge. So I hop in my little blue Chevy s-10 and start driving.
Now from what I remember from her directions, I was to make a right at the high school, and keep going straight for another 20 minutes, and he house was on the right, up on top of a hill. Easy enough, made it to the school, made a right, and started driving, and driving, and driving…
This road went deep into the woods, I’m talking deep, and I have seen ONE house, and a shack on top of a hill. No other house, but I figure, maybe she was confused on how long the road went, so I keep going. I drive for another 40 minutes, before I realize I’m in A NEW COUNTY!
Confused, I turn around and start driving back. I call her and say, “Where do you live again?” She explains to me, when I see this one house, she lives up the hill behind it. So remember when I said the only house and shack I saw along the way? Well that shack….yup was her house.
So I drive up this long hill, and find this sideways house/shack at the top. I turn off my truck, and I’m welcomed by a pack of dogs. When I say a pack Im talking like SIX BIG DOGS. Now I’m terrified of dogs, and the mother opens the door and says, “Come one in! They won’t bite.” Great…so I fight my way through the pack of dogs and enter the house.
I go to her room and there she is. Now I understand that people don’t always have a lot of money, and I have never been one to judge, but when I said I could punch through her wall to get outside, I am not exaggerating at all! The window for her room was a hole with a cloth over it. Now you may think I’m being a bit harsh, but she spray painted her walls, with just random swirls, and the bed was stained yellow with cigarettes. To top it all off, SHE WAS A CARNI! Like Carnival folk!
That White House at the bottom of the hill I mentioned…THE REST OF THE FMAILY LIVED IN THERE! THE WHOLE FAMILY! It was like a twilight zone episode!
Lets just say I never went back to that house and never seen her again. But the whole environment was a GIANT turn off! Ever gone somewhere that had turn off powers?
~Crockett
So today we are talking about the things that are a major turn off when you go to the opposite sex house. You know, dirty socks or underwear on the floor, dirty dishes, nasty toilets, whatever it is, we all have our shares of stories, but I feel mine may be the worst!
I have dated some doosies in my life time, but growing up in West Virginia you tend to get quite few of em, but there was one in particular that stands out in my mind. I was in 11th grade, and a friend of mine introduced her to me, and for the life of me I cannot remember her name, but that is beside the point. I thought she was cute, and I minus well take her on a date. So we hang out, exchange numbers, you know all that pre date jazz crap.
We eventually make plans to hang out her place (which I later found out to be a GIANT mistake). So she gives me directions, because you see, back in high school I was not what one would call popular in my school, so I usually dated girls from other schools, where I had no reputation. Well this girl lived TWO counties over, and just to get to her county was a 45 minute drive.
It didn’t matter to me, I was desperate and willing to make the drive, plus when I was in High School gas was around $1.20 a gallon, so I was willing to make the drive. So she gives me directions and I realize that this is going to be a hike, but I’m up for the challenge. So I hop in my little blue Chevy s-10 and start driving.
Now from what I remember from her directions, I was to make a right at the high school, and keep going straight for another 20 minutes, and he house was on the right, up on top of a hill. Easy enough, made it to the school, made a right, and started driving, and driving, and driving…
This road went deep into the woods, I’m talking deep, and I have seen ONE house, and a shack on top of a hill. No other house, but I figure, maybe she was confused on how long the road went, so I keep going. I drive for another 40 minutes, before I realize I’m in A NEW COUNTY!
Confused, I turn around and start driving back. I call her and say, “Where do you live again?” She explains to me, when I see this one house, she lives up the hill behind it. So remember when I said the only house and shack I saw along the way? Well that shack….yup was her house.
So I drive up this long hill, and find this sideways house/shack at the top. I turn off my truck, and I’m welcomed by a pack of dogs. When I say a pack Im talking like SIX BIG DOGS. Now I’m terrified of dogs, and the mother opens the door and says, “Come one in! They won’t bite.” Great…so I fight my way through the pack of dogs and enter the house.
I go to her room and there she is. Now I understand that people don’t always have a lot of money, and I have never been one to judge, but when I said I could punch through her wall to get outside, I am not exaggerating at all! The window for her room was a hole with a cloth over it. Now you may think I’m being a bit harsh, but she spray painted her walls, with just random swirls, and the bed was stained yellow with cigarettes. To top it all off, SHE WAS A CARNI! Like Carnival folk!
That White House at the bottom of the hill I mentioned…THE REST OF THE FMAILY LIVED IN THERE! THE WHOLE FAMILY! It was like a twilight zone episode! Lets just say I never went back to that house and never seen her again. But the whole environment was a GIANT turn off! Ever gone somewhere that had turn off powers?
~Crockett
Jessie Roberts HATES the fact that I'm on Twitter and desperately trying to get followers. But seriously, you all need to follow me for the following reasons.
1. How am I suppose to get celebrities to trust I'm a country dj, if I only have 181 followers? See and we now all benefit from this because they will now pay more attention to NEPA.
2. You will get hilarious jokes, tweet, and pictures from me.
There are two solid reasons to follow! If you read this and follow me on twitter @Crockettfroggy tweet me!
After years of being asked if they were sisters, they finally got the last laugh in their year book.
These EIGHT graduating girls from Presentation High School in San Jose, California, all have the same Vietnamese last name: Nguyen
And since they knew all eight of them would be back-to-back in the yearbook, they all decided NOT to pick lame, corny inspirational quotes to run under their photos. Instead, they each picked one or two words each, and formed a sentence.
So when you look at all their photos together, the quotes combine to read:
"We know what you're thinking, and no, we're not related."
If you like having a drink or two while you're golfing (like we do), I've got just the accessory for you. SiliShot is a silicone shotglass, bottle capper and golf tee -- all in one!
Oh, and I forgot to mention that it's dishwasher safe!
Enjoy... and remember it come Christmas list making time!
It's official. Crazy cat ladies (and men) can now get even closer to their favorite felines!
Introducing... YOU VS CAT on your iPad or smartphone! You read that right - you can now download an app from Purina that allows you to play games with your cat. Pit your skills against kitty's in this riveting game to see who's quicker at catching the little electronic fishies! If you guessed humans still have the upper hand... you'd be wrong. According to the website, currently we're trailing our feline friends 5,475,820 points to 4,718,510.
Shame, humans.
So, what's the consensus? Have we gone a little too crazy with our pets? I don't think so. Then again, I took a Christmas card photoshoot of my bunny wearing a Santa hat. So........
Last month, 69-year-old Yuri Ticuic from the Siberia region of Russia got into a fight with his wife over her LOUSY COOKING. He was so mad that her soup was always cold, that he stormed out of the house.
And then he got lost in a frozen Siberian forest. Where he wasn't found for THIRTY DAYS.
Yuri survived by scavenging for berries, EATING HAY, and DRINKING SNOW. I think this goes without saying . . . but at that point, he probably missed his wife's cold soup A LOT.
After a month, some farmers finally found him. He was too weak to walk and severely frostbitten. Doctors may end up having to amputate both of his legs.
Yuri told reporters he'll never criticize his wife's cooking again.
Tomorrow on the Wake Up Call, we'll ask you to admit: "What have you lost because of your temper?"
A soldier in Afghanistan got to check "Meet Toby Keith" off his bucket list. Toby was there on a USO tour.
Seaman Nicholas Pfaff almost missed meeting Toby because the line was too long, and his lunch break was coming to an end. Good thing he had this actual bucket list. He showed it to an event staff memer and the list made its way to Toby, who not only "checked" his name on the list, ranked at #15, but he also autographed it!!
...I bet Toby had a good laugh that he was listed at #15 .....WELL below "beat a food challenge" at #1!!!
While different guys want different things out of life, all guys can agree that they want to be happy. So on the eve of my 46th birthday I decided to share with you what the folks at www.manmade.com say are signs you're a happy man:
You Make a Lot of Eye Contact -- A study found that happy people actively seek eye contact.
You're Distracted -- Scientists have discovered that happiness causes increased distractibility.
You're Generous -- Happy people give away more money and volunteer more.
You're Healthy -- Research shows that happiness has a lot to do with a bunch of health benefits, including living longer, experiencing less pain and getting sick less often.
You're Not Addicted to Anything -- If you're happy, you're probably doing less self-medication.
If you don't see yourself here answer these questions:
What one change in your life right now would deliver the most happiness?
So I came across this awesome lamp on the internet a couple weeks ago, and thought to myself, "I have to buy one!"
Then I saw the price...$300! So I thought to myself, "I can make this" and so I begin my journey on creating a badass atari lamp! Only problem...I need an Atari. I plan on making the Lamp shade after work tonight, and the game won't be a a problem, because my good friend Carmen said he will donate them to me.
Be on the look out for an update on my own Atari lamp!
